I, Frankenstein, (aka You WHAT????)

And then there was this.

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…my brain hurts from the stupidity of it.

So. It’s a film about Frankenstein’s monster in the modern day. With angel…things fighting against other angel…people. And an apocalypse looming, when does it ever not loom? And Bill Nighy. And some keys that turn into blades hidden in the floor. And an ordinary simple mundane love interest. And many exclamations of “It ends tonight” and “There’s nothing you can do to stop it” and ” God will damn you!” “He already has,” ugh I hate that trope. And superhumans fighting against the angel…beasties.

All from the people who brought us Underworld.

Yay.

What the hell?

However, I do at least have to give them credit; I don’t need to grab whoever wrote this and shake them and scream ‘He’s not Frankenstein, you morons! Frankenstein is the one who made him! That’s why he’s Frankstein’s monster!!! Why is it so hard to wrap your tiny brains around this salient fact?????’ because, as in the novel, the creature’s name is actually Adam!

(Sort of, anyway; at one point in the original novel the creature calls himself ‘the Adam of your [Frankenstein’s] labors.’)

This last fact got me to thinking, and I began to ponder about what this film might actually be. (Other than a big, moderately good looking mess.) ‘Adam’ – for want of a better title – is after all the Modern Prometheus, the first artificially created human, in direction opposition to the beings created by the Powers that Be, or whatever passes for God in this film. He will be seen as unnatural, never coming into the grace of the Almighty, with skills far beyon those that mortal men have, and immortal into the bargain. It could make for some interesting dynamics between him and the angels…whatsits. (Including the one played by Miranda Otto; hello, Miranda, it’s been far too long!)

And, from what we can tell, someone’s been making a lot more creatures just like ‘Adam’. Is this army of new artificial humans designed to wipe out humanity? Or the angel…things? And what does Bill Nighy have to do with it all?

Essentially, though, this is probably just Underworld all over again; they’ve just replaced the vampires and werewolves with angels and super-humans, because both of those things sell, right? and dragged in ‘Adam’ because no one’s done anything with him in a while and they might as well seize the day. Plus the love interest; what’s the betting she’ll be important by virtue of her genetics, rather than anything she actually does?

Will I watch this film when it comes out? Eh, probably not. I have better things to waste my money on. But who knows; if I like what I see in the coming months when it comes to publicity, I might just give it a chance – once I can get over the WTF-ness of it all.

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