In honor of the first five minutes of this episode, I’ve decided to make a change when it comes to reviewing this episode and do it as more of a slightly casual recap.
Why? Well, I spent the first five minutes of this episode speaking thusly. Out loud. Between my fingers.
And intermittently turning the sound off when I just couldn’t take it.
Yes, I’m a wimp.
A woman comes home at night, and she owns a canary.
Aaaaa she’s standing by the bed she’s standing by the bed oh she isn’t grabbed yet.
Aaaaa, she’s in the bed.
Aaaaa there’s damp in the ceiling, she huffs and is going to investigate.
Damp spreading across the ceiling, no that’s not ominous AT ALL.
Don’t get out of bed, don’t get out aaaaa.
STEP AWAY FROM THE BED, STEP AWAY FROM THE BED.
Oh, she did.
She walks around the dark dark house.
She goes up into the dark dark attic.
There is…a hole in the dark dark attic roof and snow is coming in. What time of year is this, again? I know it was Christmas time in ‘Oeuf’, but I’ve lost track a bit. A dreamlike setting will do that to you.
THERE ARE FOOTPRINTS IN THE SNOW ON THE ROOF. Umm…how did whoever the killer is this week get up there? And why didn’t they slip?
She tarps the hole up, after a fashion, and sets down a bowl she got…from somewhere. I sympathize with this; our conservatory leaked like crazy, still does, and we were forever setting basins on the floor during a storm and replacing them when they got full.
She goes back downstairs from the dark dark attic to the dark dark house.
She’s going to get back into bed. Do a running jump, don’t let the monster under the bed get you!
THERE ARE WATERY FOOTPRINTS ON THE FLOOR.
DON’T FOLLOW THE FOOTPRINTS, CALL THE POLICE. DON’T FOLLOW THE FOOTPRINTS, CALL THE POLICE. Also, barricade yourself in the bathroom; that’s one thing Darkness Falls got right.
Aaaaand, yes, there goes the arm, which I was not ready for and made me shriek, as the woman is dragged screaming under the bed.
By the by, that is a pretty big under-the-bed-area. The bed doesn’t look that big, even if it is a double.
And blood sprays on the floor. Wow, did the killer slit her throat? What caused that?
Also, how did the killer get from the attic to under her bed without her noticing?
Also again, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
I believe I will be getting into bed via running jumps for some nights to come.