So. Game of Thrones 3×07: ‘The Bear and the Maiden Fair’

We open with Jon and the Wildlings – that sounds like the name of a band. Are there Game of Thrones rock bands, like wizard rock thanks to Harry Potter? If not, there should be.

Anywho, Jon and the Wildlings have now gotten down the other side of the Wall and into Westeros, hooray, have a biscuit. Ygritte and Jon get into an argument about the relative effectiveness of their respective armies, and Ygritte storms off in a huff and sounding a tad like a broken record – although, thank goodness, she hasn’t come out with “You know nothing, Jon Snow,” nearly as much as she did in the source material. The writers knew they probably couldn’t get away with having it more than once an episode, at the very most.

Jon gets into a spat with Orell who, it emerges, resents Jon not only because he doesn’t believe he’s being sincere about having joined the Wildlings, but also because Orell is in love with Ygritte. Or in lust, or something.

Hmmm.

Cast your mind back to the Wall climbing of last episode, where Orell was perfectly willing to cut the rope tying them all together and let Jon and Ygritte fall to their deaths. The Wildling way of life is hard, but you can’t really tell me that this was the sort of attitude someone would have if they were in love/lust with one of the aforementioned people who was about to die because of them. Also, what are the odds that, out of all the women in the Wildling army, Orell just so happened to have fixated on Ygritte? This is just giving him another excuse to hate Jon and eventually try to kill him.

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So. Game of Thrones 3×05: ‘Kissed by Fire’

So. Game of Thrones 3×05: ‘Kissed by Fire’

There’s something we need to bring up; during the opening credits, why do we still pause on Winterfell, even though it’s burned and nothing has happened there since the very end of last season? Yes, we need to give some hint as to where Bran, Rickon and the gang roughly are, but they aren’t even in this episode! You know what is in this episode? Dragonstone! And yet I note that Dragonstone fails to show up during the aforementioned opening credits.

Although Yunkai does, so there you go.

We open with yet another something I’ve been waiting for, a long time now – Beric Donarrion’s duel with Sandor Clegane. And oh, they had the flaming sword! They had Sandor’s terrified reaction! They had Dondarrion wielding it like a boss! This scene must have taken so long to shoot, and have been such a fire hazard. Plus Dondarrion’s actor is essentially fighting with one eye covered, that must have been unnerving.  Although, once again, they’re using their swords with only one hand. I’d thought that Sandor’s sword was a two handed weapon, but maybe I’m just underestimating his strength. This whole fight scene was just so intense, and the finishing move so brutal!

Maisie Williams just nailed it when she was screaming at him, but I was a tad disappointed by Dondarrion’s revival. I wanted more gasping and a ‘come back to life’ scream. Cliche, I know, but I’m a sucker for that particular cliche.

Meanwhile, where the Wildlings are (I would be proud of that gag, except it’s probably been made a million times already by now) Jon has to answer questions about the Wall. I know we’re not supposed to like Orell, but one, he has a valid point about not trusting Jon, two, he’s played by Mackenzie Crook. I cannot dislike Mackenzie Crook! Ygritte sticks up for Jon, meaning he gets in a huff, until Ygritte also very reasonably points out that if it hadn’t be for her, he’d have been dead quite a few times by now. Then she proceeds to nick his sword and oh, this is the beginning of the infamous cave scene, isn’t it?

Yep, it is. This was actually a very good scene, even if the female participant still got naked well before the male one. A great portrayal of Jon’s release. Although, much as with Podrick’s little session with the whores back in episode three (which I have yet to recap, I hang my head in shame) I find it highly suspicious that a virgin like Jon automatically knows how to please a woman’s who’s as experienced as Ygritte – in more ways than one – when this is the first time he’s even done it, let alone learned how to do it properly. (We can blame that on Martin this time, not the show.) Still, the bit where he gives her his ‘Lord’s Kiss’ was hilarious, as it was in the book. Shooting this bit must have been a hoot.

And…was that a smile? Holy shit, it was!!! Jon Snow has smiled, people, the end is definitely nigh.

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So. What did I think of Game of Thrones 3×04: ‘And Now His Watch is Ended’.

This post is: So. What did I think of Game of Thrones 3×04: ‘And Now His Watch is Ended’, since the title bar is acting up again.

Jaime is really not having a good time this season, although – is it a bad thing to say that I’m glad they’re not pulling any punches? Making him drink horse urine, hanging the severed hand around his neck, beating him up…all right, that wasn’t in the book, but again, no punches pulled. May I just pause to applaud Nikolaj Coster-Waldau for a second? He is really taking a beating this time around.

Brienne’s dismissive attitude towards her own gender is a bit jarring, but this is Westeros, biatch – everyone’s affected by the misogyny. Brienne’s had plenty of chances to see that a woman is not exactly the best thing to be in this world. The scene between the two of them, where she bullies him into eating again, is wonderful,  and the beginning of a beautiful wotsit.

Tyrion is on the hunt for who tried to have him killed at Blackwater. Hasn’t he already come to the conclusion that it was Cersei? Or at least very probably her? Why is he still focused on this? Never mind, it gives us a chance to witness Varys giving Tyrion a lecture on how to wait for revenge, while unpacking his very own sorceror in a box. How very convenient that Varys managed to get hold of the sorcerer who’d cut him just in time for this little chat with Tyrion, with a lid that he could lever off all the while that they talked. But at least they included the story of his past, which I sorely missed last season.

Tyrion’s gradually dawning realization about what might possibly be in the box was pretty funny, I’m not going to lie, as was the guy inside the box. How is he still alive? And what is Varys going to do to him? The mind boggles, and then whimpers and runs to hide in a corner.

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So. What do I think of Game of Thrones Season 3, Episode 2: ‘Dark Wings, Dark Words’?

So. What do I think of Game of Thrones Season 3, Episode 2: ‘Dark Wings, Dark Words’? (Repeated because the archive page is in a mood.)

Issac Hempstead-Wright has really gotten tall this past year; Kristian Nairn must be glad for that wheelbarrow. We get a glimpse of Rickon; I wonder how much of him we’re going to see this season, if any? And come in, Reeds, your time is finally here! Thomas Sangster and Ellie Kendrick are wonderful, although Sangster isn’t quite how I pictured Jojen to look – but he plays Jojen’s matter of fact discussing of things really well. Aww, Osha be jealous.

I also enjoyed the scenery they were walking through. The rolling hills and stone walls of Northern Ireland; it’s like coming home.

Bolton interrupts Robb and Talisa just as they’re about to get cozy with news that really took far too long to get here – about his grandfather Hoster Tully having died, and Winterfell having been sacked and Bran and Rickon being lost, perhaps dead. Oh, and when Catelyn asks if she’ll be going to her father’s funeral in shackles, Robb doesn’t reply. Nice. Real nice. They wonder if Theon took the two boys hostage.

Speaking of Theon-

I didn’t watch the bits of the episode with him in them.

I do appreciate that they’re there, and that the directors and producers actually didn’t shy away from showing us this, and that they’re well acted and heartbreaking – but I’m not going to watch them, or any of what happens to Theon over this season. I don’t like watching people get tortured, period; I don’t care if it’s only a show. Call me a wimp, but there you are.

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