So. Game of Thrones 3×07: ‘The Bear and the Maiden Fair’

We open with Jon and the Wildlings – that sounds like the name of a band. Are there Game of Thrones rock bands, like wizard rock thanks to Harry Potter? If not, there should be.

Anywho, Jon and the Wildlings have now gotten down the other side of the Wall and into Westeros, hooray, have a biscuit. Ygritte and Jon get into an argument about the relative effectiveness of their respective armies, and Ygritte storms off in a huff and sounding a tad like a broken record – although, thank goodness, she hasn’t come out with “You know nothing, Jon Snow,” nearly as much as she did in the source material. The writers knew they probably couldn’t get away with having it more than once an episode, at the very most.

Jon gets into a spat with Orell who, it emerges, resents Jon not only because he doesn’t believe he’s being sincere about having joined the Wildlings, but also because Orell is in love with Ygritte. Or in lust, or something.

Hmmm.

Cast your mind back to the Wall climbing of last episode, where Orell was perfectly willing to cut the rope tying them all together and let Jon and Ygritte fall to their deaths. The Wildling way of life is hard, but you can’t really tell me that this was the sort of attitude someone would have if they were in love/lust with one of the aforementioned people who was about to die because of them. Also, what are the odds that, out of all the women in the Wildling army, Orell just so happened to have fixated on Ygritte? This is just giving him another excuse to hate Jon and eventually try to kill him.

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So. What did I think of Game of Thrones 3×04: ‘And Now His Watch is Ended’.

This post is: So. What did I think of Game of Thrones 3×04: ‘And Now His Watch is Ended’, since the title bar is acting up again.

Jaime is really not having a good time this season, although – is it a bad thing to say that I’m glad they’re not pulling any punches? Making him drink horse urine, hanging the severed hand around his neck, beating him up…all right, that wasn’t in the book, but again, no punches pulled. May I just pause to applaud Nikolaj Coster-Waldau for a second? He is really taking a beating this time around.

Brienne’s dismissive attitude towards her own gender is a bit jarring, but this is Westeros, biatch – everyone’s affected by the misogyny. Brienne’s had plenty of chances to see that a woman is not exactly the best thing to be in this world. The scene between the two of them, where she bullies him into eating again, is wonderful,  and the beginning of a beautiful wotsit.

Tyrion is on the hunt for who tried to have him killed at Blackwater. Hasn’t he already come to the conclusion that it was Cersei? Or at least very probably her? Why is he still focused on this? Never mind, it gives us a chance to witness Varys giving Tyrion a lecture on how to wait for revenge, while unpacking his very own sorceror in a box. How very convenient that Varys managed to get hold of the sorcerer who’d cut him just in time for this little chat with Tyrion, with a lid that he could lever off all the while that they talked. But at least they included the story of his past, which I sorely missed last season.

Tyrion’s gradually dawning realization about what might possibly be in the box was pretty funny, I’m not going to lie, as was the guy inside the box. How is he still alive? And what is Varys going to do to him? The mind boggles, and then whimpers and runs to hide in a corner.

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So. What do I think of Game of Thrones Season 3, Episode 2: ‘Dark Wings, Dark Words’?

So. What do I think of Game of Thrones Season 3, Episode 2: ‘Dark Wings, Dark Words’? (Repeated because the archive page is in a mood.)

Issac Hempstead-Wright has really gotten tall this past year; Kristian Nairn must be glad for that wheelbarrow. We get a glimpse of Rickon; I wonder how much of him we’re going to see this season, if any? And come in, Reeds, your time is finally here! Thomas Sangster and Ellie Kendrick are wonderful, although Sangster isn’t quite how I pictured Jojen to look – but he plays Jojen’s matter of fact discussing of things really well. Aww, Osha be jealous.

I also enjoyed the scenery they were walking through. The rolling hills and stone walls of Northern Ireland; it’s like coming home.

Bolton interrupts Robb and Talisa just as they’re about to get cozy with news that really took far too long to get here – about his grandfather Hoster Tully having died, and Winterfell having been sacked and Bran and Rickon being lost, perhaps dead. Oh, and when Catelyn asks if she’ll be going to her father’s funeral in shackles, Robb doesn’t reply. Nice. Real nice. They wonder if Theon took the two boys hostage.

Speaking of Theon-

I didn’t watch the bits of the episode with him in them.

I do appreciate that they’re there, and that the directors and producers actually didn’t shy away from showing us this, and that they’re well acted and heartbreaking – but I’m not going to watch them, or any of what happens to Theon over this season. I don’t like watching people get tortured, period; I don’t care if it’s only a show. Call me a wimp, but there you are.

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So. What do I think of Valar Dohaeris?

So. What do I think of Valar Dohaeris?

This is a thing that is part review, part introspective analysis. If that’s the right phrase I want. It probably isn’t.

To put it simply, the plain parts are what happens in the show, and the bits in italics are things that I’m asking myself and theorising might happen down the line. Also there will be spoilers from the books, so if you haven’t read past A Clash of Kings, best avoid the bits in bold.

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Interesting choice for a title, leading right on from last episode’s Valar Morghulis. All men must serve in this episode, whether they wish to or no.

More often no. 

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First of all, a question that’s been plaguing everyone since last year; how on earth is Samwell going to get out of being torn apart by a horde of walking dead people?

The answer is…we don’t know.

No, seriously.

The episode picks up at least a few hours later, judging by the fact that, in the next scene, Jon and Ygritte are only just now entering the wildling camp. Presumably Sam found some way to escape from the various White Walkers and their masses of dead forces that I personally would have liked to see. The show, however, decides to skip over it by opening the episode with him just running through the snow without anything discernably chasing him, and coming across a dead Brother who is both kneeling in the snow and holding his severed head in his hands.

Somehow.

Then we see a sinister shadow in the distance and Sam is nearly killed by just one solitary zombie, which quickly gets dealt with by Ghost and set on fire by Mormont. There’s been a battle that we didn’t get to see at the Fist of the First Men, and Mormont and the surviving Brothers of the Night’s Watch are very disappointed in Sam, because he didn’t manage to send any ravens for help.

Wait. What? What just happened?

Now that I’ve got that immediate reaction out of the way; I’m sure a lot of people were disappointed by cutting the fight scene but, yet again, budget and time constraints.

At least Ghost looks quite impressive, although I can’t remember if he was supposed to be here at this precise point. I’m thinking he wasn’t.

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